It is with great sadness that I write this post – my darling son Owen died on 28 July 2015 aged 21, after a four week stay in hospital. Owen was diagnosed with melanoma in April 2014 and was determined to continue to live life to the full but became too ill to continue with his final year studying illustration at university in January of this year.
I feared the worst from the beginning whilst desperately hoping that a miracle would occur and we were lucky, for a while the treatment seemed to be working and Owen continued to draw, compose music, play his guitar and generally be creative right up until he became suddenly, and quite desperately ill.
My sleepless nights have been filled with the books I have read and reviewed while I sought a distraction from the scary thoughts. I deliberately chose to leave the personal out of my blogging, and when I manage to order my thoughts enough to enjoy books again, this will return to being a blog about books. It has been of enormous comfort to have one place to be myself, without talking about the things that scared me which unfortunately came to fruition, so thank you book blogging community.
Owen would always ask about the books I was reading, both children have teased me about the harrowing books I read, and he would criticise my star ratings which in his opinion were far too generous!! Never having been a voracious reader Owen actually started reading the more modern classics when he completed his A Levels and he had claimed my library card having lost his and decided that the bother of asking for a new one was too much – his excellent qualities didn’t extend to being organised – and so when we made the trips to Southampton to see the specialist, he would always make sure he had a good book to read and discuss with me to fill up the hours of travelling and waiting around. The one silver lining to this desperately dark cloud was that I got to spend a lot of time with my son this year, time that I wouldn’t have been granted had he not fallen ill, and although we’d always been very close, our relationship inevitably deepened even further as we supported each other. I miss him so very much already.
Thank you to all of you have asked me where I’ve been, something I really didn’t expect. I do hope to return to blogging but I’m sure any of you who have been through a bereavement understand that at the moment will understand that stringing a sentence together is almost beyond me at the moment.
Oh, Cleo, I am truly heartbroken for you. I hope it is at least a bit of comfort to know that we stand with you at this time. May you know peace and healing. Thoughts and wishes to you…
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My sincerest condolences to you and your family. I can feel your pain and longing for your son. My prayers are with you. Stay strong.
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My heart goes out to you, Cleo, and all your family and everyone who knew and loved Owen.
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Oh, Cleo, I’m so, so sorry! Take all the time you need but know that we’ll all be thinking of you and your family through this sad time. He sounds as if he was a wonderful young man and I’m glad you had the time with him to store up some precious memories. My sincere sympathy to you all.
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We only have to look at our own lives to see how difficult this must be for you. So young. It is heart breaking.
We’ve been through a scare recently. My hubby was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Many thoughts cross my mind about how hard it would be without him. I do understand how hard this is. Heal my friend and if you need a friend to talk to, I’m here.
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No one should have to experience the death of a child. It’s just not supposed to be that way.
I hope that at some point you’ll be able to return and we can chat about books again. ‘Till then, be good to yourself.
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Oh Cleo I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. That is truly awful and you are in my prayers.
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So very sorry for your loss xx
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Oh Cleo I am so very very sorry! I’d been wondering where you were – on holiday, maybe, never thinking it was anything like this. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Please accept my most sincere condolences, in this difficult time, Cleo. My thoughts are with you and with your family.
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I’m so very sorry Cleo! I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I’m heartbroken for you, that’s terrible. I offer you my well wishes and deepest sympathy.
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Oh Cleo, I am so so sorry. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Hold on to those precious memories and take care. Karen x
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I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, Cleo. My sincere condolences to you and your family. I hope you’ll feel able to return here at some point – take care.
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Cleo, I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you at this terrible time. Owen sounds like a wonderful young man, thank you for sharing some if your precious stories of him with us. Take care of yourself .
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So very sorry…your grief is palpable. I hope you will be able to smile again soon as the happy memories of Owen are the focus of your mind. I share your loss, I too lost my son in 1989…
To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die ~ Thomas Campbell…take care x
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My sincere condolences to you and the rest of your family. Take time to mourn, be kind to yourself and take one day at a time.
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I’m so terribly sorry to hear of your loss Cleo! My heart goes out to you and your family at this incredibly difficult time xxx
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I’m so, so sorry for your loss Cleo. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care. xxx
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Cleo I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine what you and your family must be going through. Thinking of you all xx
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Cleo, I’m am so sorry to hear this. There is little anyone can do or say but do know that people are thinking of you. My deepest condolences to you and your family x
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I’m so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts are with you and your family. X
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Oh Cleo… I’m so sorry to hear your devastating news, sincere condolences to all your family & loved ones.
You show remarkable character that you find a chink of silver lining; the extra times -and books- you got to share with Owen. I hope they bring you some comfort at this desperately sad time…
Take care x
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Cleo, so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. The blogging community is here if ever you need to talk.
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So very sorry, Cleo. Take care x
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What a horrid time this must have been for you. So very sorry to hear about your family’s loss.
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So sorry to hear of your loss, will be thinking of you and your family…
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I am so sorry to hear your terrible news. I know what it’s like to lose a loved one to cancer. I lost my mum last summer and watching her decline at the end was the worst experience of my life. I can’t begin to imagine the pain of losing your son so young. Life can be so unfair at times like this. My thoughts are with you at this time. *hugs*
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Cleo. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care!
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Cleo, I don’t have words to express how sorry I am for your loss. As a mother I can only imagine how is feel walking in your shoes.
Hopefully, in the weeks and months to come you and your family will be able to draw upon the happy memories of times shared with your son and that they’ll give you the strength to carry on.
I’ll be thinking of you.
Dawn x
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My condolences for your loss. Sending good thoughts and love to you and your family. *hugs*
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Oh Cleo. You and your family are in my thoughts. xx
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My thoughts are with you at this sad time
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Oh, my dearest Cleo, I am so, so sorry to hear that! It came completely out of the blue, I had no idea of the suffering you were going through. I am glad you added some precious memories of reading closeness towards the end as well as all the wonderful childhood memories. Thinking of you.
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My sincere sympathies for you and your family, may you find strength and love to guide you x
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I’m so sorry to read of this Cleo, how heartbreaking and unfair. I understand how writing about books and reading might have brought you all some comfort, I hope it continues to do so. Sending you healing and loving thoughts for the difficult period you will be going through. Thank you for sharing the beautiful light of your son with us, for having the courage. Claire
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How terrible for you. I cannot imagine how painful a time this must be for you. All my sympathies.
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So, so sorry to hear such sad news. My thoughts are with you. Take care x
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I am so sorry that this has happened to you and your family. I can not even begin to imagine how painful it must be. You have my deepest condolences.
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Oh Cleo! I’d come over here just to ask if you’d like to review for Shiny New Books, just one silly, ordinary thing, and this is the most wretched and heartbreaking news. How monstrously unacceptable this is. I am thinking of you and sending love. If you feel the need to write anything in the weeks ahead, it will be heard. I have always found the book bloggers to be an amazingly supportive community.
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I feel a heavy heart for you as I read this….and I know that there is nothing worse than the loss of a child. My thoughts are with you!
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It’s hard to find the words to express how very sad, and unfair, the loss of your son is. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time x
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So, so, sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you and your family xxx
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Oh my, what a shock! I am so sorry from one mum to another. I am saddened. Sending you a hug. My condolences.
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This is every parent and grandparents nightmare…
Know that everyone needs to hug you. What is there yo say!
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Oh Cleo I am so sorry for your loss.You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Cleo, I am very sorry for your loss. Owen was obviously very proud of his mother and you both had that unique and comforting bond. Even if he is gone, he will never be forgotten; and most important: he was not alone.
My best wishes to you and your family.
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Oh dear, I am so very sorry. We lost my husband’s mother to melanoma cancer this spring, so I understand what you are saying about the silver lining of having that extra time to spend together, even when it is doing something as hard as making long drives to treatment and back. But those are memories that you will cherish forever. My prayers are with you… may you draw closer to those you love as you mourn together – and celebrate the remembrance of a beloved life.
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You know words can’t express correctly but I am so sorry
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So very sorry to read this. Sending you love and will keep your family in my thoughts. X
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Dear Cleo, I’m so very sorry to read this. I wish I could say something to make it easier for you, but of course there is nothing. My thoughts are with you.
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