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A Sad Time

Owen and the lamp

It is with great sadness that I write this post – my darling son Owen died on 28 July 2015 aged 21, after a four week stay in hospital. Owen was diagnosed with melanoma in April 2014 and was determined to continue to live life to the full but became too ill to continue with his final year studying illustration at university in January of this year.

I feared the worst from the beginning whilst desperately hoping that a miracle would occur and we were lucky, for a while the treatment seemed to be working and Owen continued to draw, compose music, play his guitar and generally be creative right up until he became suddenly, and quite desperately ill.

My sleepless nights have been filled with the books I have read and reviewed while I sought a distraction from the scary thoughts. I deliberately chose to leave the personal out of my blogging, and when I manage to order my thoughts enough to enjoy books again, this will return to being a blog about books. It has been of enormous comfort to have one place to be myself, without talking about the things that scared me which unfortunately came to fruition, so thank you book blogging community.

Owen would always ask about the books I was reading, both children have teased me about the harrowing books I read, and he would criticise my star ratings which in his opinion were far too generous!! Never having been a voracious reader Owen actually started reading the more modern classics when he completed his A Levels and he had claimed my library card having lost his and decided that the bother of asking for a new one was too much – his excellent qualities didn’t extend to being organised – and so when we made the trips to Southampton to see the specialist, he would always make sure he had a good book to read and discuss with me to fill up the hours of travelling and waiting around. The one silver lining to this desperately dark cloud was that I got to spend a lot of time with my son this year, time that I wouldn’t have been granted had he not fallen ill, and although we’d always been very close, our relationship inevitably deepened even further as we supported each other. I miss him so very much already.

Thank you to all of you have asked me where I’ve been, something I really didn’t expect. I do hope to return to blogging but I’m sure any of you who have been through a bereavement understand that at the moment will understand that stringing a sentence together is almost beyond me at the moment.

Author:

A book lover who clearly has issues as obsessed with crime despite leading a respectable life

77 thoughts on “A Sad Time

  1. Sorry for you and your loved ones during this incredibly sad and difficult time. My husband has had two surgeries for a rare form of melanoma but expects in his next 6 month visit to finally be declared cancer-free. I understand part of your journey but of course I can never know the pain you are going through, so sending good wishes, prayers, and hopes for better days ahead.

  2. Cleo, there are no words. I’m so terribly sorry to hear this sad news. Owen sounds like a very special and wonderful person. I’m sorry for your loss.

  3. Dearest Cleopatra, there is nothing anyone can really say to comfort or makes things better, but I know I (and all of us) are thinking of you, and are so, so sorry for you and your family.

  4. I’m so so sorry to hear this Cleo, you’ve been through so much. Thoughts and love with you and your family and I pray you find the strength you need at this terrible time.

  5. Oh dear Cleo, I am so very sorry. Words fail me. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel. My heartfelt condolences. I am praying for you and your family. xxx

  6. I’m so sorry, Cleo. I know the kind of darkness you’re in now. Carry your son in your heart, for you still have the love. That’s never lost. I know that’s no consolation at all right now. Someone sent me a card with this, and even then it helped me.
    ‘He was here. He had to go. But the heavens and the oceans heard his song.’

  7. Cleo, I’ve been away and so am just now seeing your post. My dear, I am so, so sorry. There are just no words to convey how deep my sympathies are for you and all your loved ones. I know you will miss your boy so very much. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sometimes, life is so unfair, for no reason at all. Take care of yourself, please. Hugs.

  8. Oh Cleo, my heart and prayers go out to you. I’ve taken some time off from blogging this summer and came over here today to check out your Tuesday post and saw this. I am so very sorry my blogging friend – although I only know your through your words, my heart breaks for you. I’ll be praying for your family.

  9. This must be the worst kind of bereavement, as it, as they say, disturbs the natural order of things. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel. I assumed you were on holiday, as everyone else seems to be.
    When you’re ready to blog again, we’ll be waiting for you. In the meantime, we’ll miss you.
    RIP Owen.

  10. Oh Cleo, I’m so terribly, terribly sorry to read this. I can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling. To lose a child has to be the worst possible type of loss. I hope you will find some comfort within the loving bosom of your family, and I’ll be thinking of you. x

  11. Sherry, I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. So glad you had the extra time with Owen to treasure, and wishing you much healing and restorative energy as you grieve. Isn’t it wonderful that books (and other readers) are always there when we need them? 🙂

  12. I’ve just seen this and my heart is breaking for you, Cleo. I have a son too I can’t even begin to imagine how painful it must be to lose your little boy. I hope the wonderful memories you have of Owen provide you with some comfort and you have family to hold you tight and look after you. Xx

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